day 51

While on the laptop in the bedroom...somewhere I am alot, doing what I do a lot, mindless surfing. I was hit with a deja-vue. I remembered doing this same thing while at Chris side holding Vigil. He was there semi asleep, or semi aware. I was lying next to him quietly numbing my mind with mindless Internet searches. The thought occurred to me this is how it will be when he is gone....I will be here on this side of the bed with this computer, being mindless instead of mindful.