I woke up last night at 2 AM, with the worst chest pain and shortness of breath. I was both afraid and happy, this is it I really thought, I am going to die, we are miles from doctors and hospitals I will have a heart attack and Lynne (sorry Lynne) will find me dead. I think I should get up and write a will so Max gets everything..... but I am to weak and breathing is too hard to even think of it. I try to relax and let death come, I am ready, I am done, thank God this nightmare will be over, maybe I will see Chris, maybe he is the one strangling me.....a mercy killing.
I am not afraid at all, just ready......I pass out or fall asleep, because I wake up the next morning still alive, still in pain and still not wanting to face any of it.
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