groupwise

Went to the Saturday Morning support group. The subject, you, dear blog, came up. There was some back and forth about the members reading it ( I had given my therapist the go ahead to read earlier in the week). Some folks thought that if they read it that I would have nothing to share in group, or that they would somehow lose intimacy with me....only one person wanted to read it really, and they want me to think about it. I selfishly want them to read it for the literary reasons, this is how to get a blog noticed, right? Do I care if more people see inside my bloody walls of pain? See inside the horror show of gore created by the evisceration of having my love ripped from my life. The raw walls of my heart, shredded and weeping hot searing blood, a wound that will not, cannot heal. NO, that is the point...it is as if I want to show everyone what GIST, what cancer has done, it is not pretty, it is horrific, it is pain beyond belief, it is ugly. I want everyone to see it So when you see me even just siting in a room, you should be outstandingly amazed that I can even breathe in and out while the horror show of gore is seeping through my body.