Will Rogers Follies

Tonight was my friend Lauren's son's (Aaron) play "Will Rogers Follies". I dreaded going, the people I might run into who I haven't seen since last year's play (Copa Cabana.)
I m a huge Aaron fan though and wouldn't miss it. I haven't missed one of his performances since he was Chip in Beauty and the Beast (they brought him from middle school to be in a high school production.) He has a great voice and presence and he like all good performers, takes you out of yourself.
Ultimately I am glad that I went. Aaron seemed genuinely glad that I was there, hugging me and chatting after the show. I ran into a former high school guidance counselor "Madonna"---the nickname my then 2 year old have given her on his many trips to the high school while being cared for by my friend Lauren (yes we have been friends that long). Madonna (her real name is Donna) hadn't seen me, and expressed her sympathies. I wasn't upset that she did,it was the right thing to do. But it numbed me out. I just shut down. I felt like I have been given a drug. Everything feels heavy, deadened, anesthetized, detached,remote. Everything I hear and see seems far away. I feel as if I am watching myself. After the play I have to grocery shop for the Shrayer/Huth dinner. A quaterly event in which I buy and cook food with the Huth girls and I schlep the food over to Huths's the Shrayers show up and in 45 minutes, 5 hours of work and a 100 bucks is gone.
I shop I have a list I am robotic. I feel nothing, I don't care if I am here or home, nothing sinks in.
In the car Adam is on singing "Pick You Up". One of my favorites because he laughs at the end. The song seems to penetrate me, but it the only thing that penetrates. Even writing this now seems surreal. I see my hands hitting the keys but feel so detached. Some one pick me up......