Young Widows Group Part Deux

So I decided to do another group at Hospice.I feel like I need a place to go to be with other widows. I know about the group in Lynn, but its lack of structure and leader is scary to me, the therapist that has run homicide survivor groups for 25 years. I can't imagine putting clients in a room by them selves, with no agreements to meet weekly and support each other, the come as you are where you are of a drop in group is so very foreign to me. I need the safety of a group leader and the safety of a start and end date.
The first group was ok, the leader was different a young "counselor" type. She probably has her masters but seems very nervous, she is obviously taking over for Holly the widow who ran the first group I attended, but is not here now.
We go around the room, introductions......mostly cancer deaths, a heart attack, an aneurysm. I am drawn to Lyndsay, not just her name, but she is young, fragile, lost her fiancee suddenly. They were so in love never fought and cherished each other. She had the love I had with Chris, I felt an affinity with her. She had what I had, she lost what I lost.
She is the reason that I come the second week. I didn't want to come after the first session. Not sure why, just didn't want to.....couldn't NOT go though, the therapist in me has to "show up".
There are less of us this week, the lone male is late ---he didn't want to come either......The leader opens up with asking us to describe our relationship what we lost and how the person died. I am shocked that this is the direction she is going in, but I am curious to hear everyone stories. I don't think we talked about this int he other group.
It is hard, I cry when i describe the loss and how it went down.....next week it picture week......good grief seems like we are on the fast track. The first group I couldn't stand to bring a picture, I still feel the same. How cnaI bring a picture when I can't stand to look at one?