Wednesday, February 17, 2010

the green bowl


I decide to have cereal for breakfast, unusual for me, I usually like something warm. All the dishes are dirty, and the dishwasher is full. The only bowl available is Chris green plastic tupperware bowl. It was his favorite and I wasn't allowed to toss it. It was perfect for Raisin Bran (he liked to soak them in milk til soggy), perfect for Wiz Fizz (his root beer and ice cream concoction) and when he s single it was his go to bowl for his Dinty Moore and wonder bread creation. Oh yes the green plastic bowl was much cherished by Chris and much derided by me. It didn't have a place near my 25 dollar a bowl recycled glass bowls, or my Crate and Barrel clear bowls.It would end up in the cupboard or drawer siting on top of something else, out of place and unwanted by this chef. I once asked him if I could toss, I was soon listening to the virtues of this forlorn piece of tupperware. So it stayed. It held his Raisin Bran and later when we went organic/sugar free cancer fighting diet, it held his organic bran flakes with organic raisins sweetened with agave. I even made sugar free ice cream and ho made sugar free root beer for non cancer feeding sugar free Wiz Fiz ( he proclaimed it better than edible, but quite good!).
So the bowl holds alot more than just food this morning as I poru my Specail K into it. I think about all the times he held the bowl in his hands or had it by his side at his desk waiting ti the cereal was just the right kind of mush. He had this bowl for 15 plus year (maybe 20) and I wanted to throw it out......and now O am so glad the bowl is here. I had never used it before. It was a good cereal bowl with it's graduated side. I held it in my hands, I started to cry. Is this all I have left of the man I loved? What if I had thrown it away? I would have been so sad, missing it, another part of him lost to me.
The tears ruin what little appetite I have, finishing this breakfast will be a true Special K challenge.

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